Well, quarantine didn't last long. Not much the Government says does these days. Indeed, no sooner had it been announced that all visitors must self-isolate for 14 days after arrival than Boris Johnson performed his latest handbrake turn.
Over a race at Silverstone, appropriately. It had obviously been pointed out that his new rules would spell the end of this year's British Grand Prix, which would probably take place at Hockenheim, in Germany, instead.
Not really the best look for a Prime Minister elected on a ticket of taking back control. Brexit Britain incapable, Germany to the rescue. Not really the sunlit uplands of popular myth.
So the Prime Minister did what he invariably does — he sniffed the wind and changed his mind.
Rather than risk the wrath of the nation's Formula One fans, he entered Government officials in urgent talks to find a compromise. It transpired there are several dates for Silverstone in August that might be utilised and even one in late July.
Hooray. Boris had swooped in and decisively saved the day. And all it took was to completely ignore his own rules. Again.
When the moment comes to review the last five months in British public life, sport's role in this pandemic cannot be underplayed.
From the decision to hold the Cheltenham Festival and Liverpool's match against Atletico Madrid, to Johnson's close contact at England's Six Nations fixture with Wales on March 8, to the way football has been consistently used as a distraction by mendacious politicians, sport and our attitude to it has been a major player throughout this crisis. On March 13, when Arsenal manager Mikel Arteta tested positive for coronavirus, the official death toll stood at 11 and football closed down.
On Thursday, when the Premier League announced it would restart on June 17 and that teams would be expected to play even if 10 of the squad, plus the manager, were in quarantine, the death toll stood at 37,460. So, yes, a little inconsistent.
As is the Culture Secretary arguing that football should make its product available for free on terrestrial television to raise public spirits, having previously talked as if it was the job of footballers to fund the National Health Service.
He won't require the arts to perform a free service — even those that are publicly funded — but football is fair game.
The Government even patronises the sport as it seeks to wheedle favours out of it — claiming matches should go free-to-air to stop unruly fans congregating outside stadiums. Sunbathers on Bournemouth beach can do as they please, apparently. They must have the other coronavirus that isn't catching.
As for quarantine, the rules are confusing, unenforceable and almost made to be abandoned the moment public posturing is served.
No government will remove English clubs from Europe unless it is unavoidable and, in such circumstances, it is unlikely any tournament will be going ahead anyway.
So, providing the 2019-20 Champions League survives, Real Madrid will be allowed to come to play Manchester City without being shut away for two weeks.
Manchester United and Wolves will be allowed to progress in the Europa League without needing to quarantine for 14 days on return.
Even Chelsea might feel they have renewed hope, 3-0 down from the first leg against Bayern Munich, given that home advantage seems to be lost in Germany without fans.
Would a populist government stand against any of that? Of course not. Equally, Aidan O'Brien and staff at Coolmore are not bound by quarantine rules when they travel from Ireland for race meetings at Newmarket and Ascot.
Already it's an inconsistent mess. Already, Health Secretary Matt Hancock is saying he would not rule out foreign holidays in July — a complete reverse on his previous forecast — and the surge in bookings suggests nobody would believe him even if he did.
And if Ibiza is on, so are cricket tours, European quarter-finals and any major event the Prime Minister would consider to matter if its curtailment landed at his door.
Quarantine? Like a Lewis Hamilton doughnut, it's just a lot of smoke and going around in circles.
Video tells the real story of Sala saga
There is now photographic evidence of Emiliano Sala signing for Cardiff.
A video showing Sala validating three forms handed to him by Scott Dommett, a Football Association of Wales player registrations manager who was working for the club, makes clear that Sala was a Cardiff player.
From the start it was grimly predictable that Cardiff would try to wriggle out of their obligations here. Their demands for investigations, their long list of questions over the doomed flight, their wrangling over Sala's contract have always been thinly disguised attempts to avoid financial settlement with Nantes.
Cardiff's argument is that Sala was not properly registered at the time of his death, and was therefore not their player. The Premier League, however, treat such matters as administrative obstacles, and no more. They facilitate the signing first, iron out the legal details later.
They would, in all likelihood, not even have stopped Sala playing for Cardiff before the re-draft was concluded.
Compliance is considered a formality and clubs appreciate the light touch. Certainly FIFA do not have any doubts regarding Sala's allegiance at the time of his death.
The International Transfer Certificate makes him Cardiff's man, and a FIFA ruling last September stated it was clearly the club's intention to register him with the Premier League, and only their administrative failings prevented formal completion.
Nothing in this newly-emerged footage contradicts that view. Timed at 6.21pm on Friday, January 18, 2019, the urgency is with Cardiff's representative who guides the player on where to sign. There is no hesitancy or suggestion this is not conclusive.
Indeed the following day, the transfer was announced. 'I'm very pleased that we're now in a position whereby we can confirm his signature,' said chief executive Ken Choo, of Sala. 'I'm sure all Cardiff City fans will join me in looking forward to seeing our record signing in a Bluebirds shirt.'
Little more than two days later, however, Sala was dead. This appears to be the moment Cardiff went off him.
He never rang, he never called
Nathan Jones is back managing Luton. He left the club for Stoke in January 2019, but returns to find them 23rd in the Championship, six points from safety.
One might even say he's been gone too long.
Thank you. Thank you very much. I'm here all week.
Lampard needs a keeper, not a Kepa
Frank Lampard's best years at Chelsea were spent beside Petr Cech, so we can presume he knows a world-class goalkeeper when he sees one.
Kepa Arrizabalaga comes up short. So, too, does Roman Burki of Borussia Dortmund — the man tipped to replace him.
If reports linking Burki with a summer move are correct, Chelsea are making another mistake, albeit cheaper.
Arrizabalaga commanded a world record for a goalkeeper, £71.6m, while Burki is believed to be priced nearer £15m.
Anyone who saw his recent performance against Bayern Munich, or remembers Tottenham's 3-1 win over Dortmund at Wembley in 2017, will know there is a reason for that.
Punters taken for a ride
It is the Poule d'Essai des Pouliches on Monday, French horseracing's equivalent of the 1,000 Guineas.
One of our lads had taken a rather smart bet, Simeen, the second favourite, at 10-1. Only £20 quid but, successful, it pays £200.
Then, last week, Bet365 refunded his money and cancelled. The race has recently been switched from Longchamp to Deauville, because the original location was within the Paris coronavirus red zone.
The small print allows them to do that, but it's not right. He wasn't even offered what the bookmakers were ready to give as cashback. Simeen is now 9-2 at best — so £20 pays £90. Bet365 merely avoided a heavier liability.
Given how many meetings may yet be moved due to the pandemic, this should not be allowed. Punters should be given a choice: keep the bet as is, or refund. Still, it figures. Fun bets, kids and mugs. That's the market these days.
Dons on wrong side of justice
All cynics start out as optimists. It is their readiness to be positive and see the best in people that wears them down when the worst is revealed. That's why AFC Wimbledon's attitude to the end of the season is so depressing.
If League One votes not to finish, and the desperately flawed points-per-game system is used to decide outcomes, Wimbledon stay up ahead of Tranmere.
Tranmere are three points behind them, with a game in hand, having won their last three matches before the league was suspended. Yet PPG only affords them 0.94 per match, to Wimbledon's 1 — so they drop. The two teams were scheduled to meet on March 21.
It would be a horribly unfair outcome and as a club forged by the worst injustice, an optimist would picture AFC Wimbledon recognising this and expressing solidarity. Playing the season out would be the best solution — or at least opposing arbitrary relegation if it could not be concluded.
A cynic, meanwhile, would presume AFC Wimbledon forget their past, stuff fellowship and selfishly look after No 1. Over to chief executive Joe Palmer: 'The view I'm getting from clubs is that we want to see the end of the season. As a club we don't want to do anything that puts us in a worse-off situation. If playing out the season does that, we would be against it.'
Meaning AFC Wimbledon don't fancy their chances of staying up legitimately, so would rather doom Tranmere by random factor. Cynicism wins. Just like every other club it is, then.
Setting example is what matters
Given that few players are testing positive for coronavirus and any that do are in quarantine, it seems strange that Bundesliga scorers celebrate alone, and substitutes are social distancing on the bench. This has more to do with setting an example than health and safety.
Nico Schaefer, a member of Germany's football commission and managing director of Wehen Wiesbaden in Bundesliga 2, explained: 'The players understand it is a sign for outside. A player is nothing special, he is doing his work and he shows everybody, 'I stick to the rules and everybody outside should stick to the rules too'.'
Where public health is concerned, influence is important. Take face masks. There are a lot of contradictory views about their worth, even from experts. Like most medical research, it will no doubt take many years, and many studies, before firm conclusions are drawn.
What is more widely accepted, however, is the social influence of a community willing to wear masks. It sends out a message to fellow citizens: I am taking this seriously and you should, too.
In Asia, long before this pandemic, masks were worn by anyone who had a cold. It was a public service, protecting others from germs. Again, the message mattered.
German football clearly believes this and, no doubt, English football will follow its lead. Maybe they could persuade the Government to join them, eventually.
Women's sport on a knife edge
Lewes came up with an idea that could have saved the women's football season: a £3million fund to cover the cost of finishing the remaining 82 Women's Super League and Championship matches.
They wanted the money raised through a broadcasting deal, but no broadcaster wanted to pay and the FA did not favour support packages. The season was curtailed this week.
Women's club rugby — another void season — has now lost its top sponsor, Tyrrells. It is a thoroughly depressing picture. Yet, sadly, an all too real one. There are tough times ahead for any sport that does not have a mass audience and a mass market, but nobody wants to hear that.
England's Rachael Burford, a World Cup winner, said of Tyrrells' departure: 'What a golden opportunity for someone else. What I don't want is for us to undersell it.' Undersell it? What about just selling it? At the moment, women's domestic rugby has no sponsor; neither does the women's Six Nations. Lewes couldn't find a £3m deal for the best women's footballers in the land.
Financial reality is tightening its grip. And not just in women's sport. In the coming months, any number of clubs with centuries of tradition in the men's game may be forced part-time.
'Coronavirus — s*** is getting real,' screamed the rapper Cardi B, in an Instagram post that went viral. More profane than profound, but with a firmer grip on current affairs than some.
Source: m.allfootballapp.com